9-16-06 Passing the Test(s) and missing the herb sorta
To get a hired you must 1 st pass a drug test and a physical !!!!! Yikes not really I have actually stopped smoking pot . Pot was the only drug ( and I don't consider it a drug ) I every really used with regularity and when regularity I mean it . Id say I smoked pot every day since I turned 21 . IM now 31 or older I think !!! I stopped counting at 30 . Actually I stopped for 2 months a few years ago to detox . So I had to divorce my Mistress Mary Jane . We has a torrid romance that ended some months back at the Radiohead concert in San Diego. Sure I miss her Conan isn't as funny , and getting to bed isn't as easy but my dreams are so much more vivid . So enough about my stoney past . I was off to to the piss hut to pee for the man . I did my thing and passed . Though I must admit was a little scared after 10 years of heavy smoking . I was concerned that the inside of my veins and body would look a bit like the inside of my bong (black and full of resin ) .
So 1 st test passed now across town to get my physical . This particular doctor ( I cant believe I called him that! LOL ) was located North of the strip off of Sahara . In 3 years I have never been further van patten and Sahara . I dated a Filipino girl that lived over there in the hood . And its not safe if any off you have visited me in Vegas I have taken you to my favorite restaurant the world renowned Best Thai food in the US - Lotus of Siam , that's the part of town it is in . I refer to it as Trannie Town . You should be able to figure out what that means . So this place is further North than Lotus . So I head into this dodgy strip mall to this what was trying very hard to pass as a doctors office . I sign and and ogle the big breasted secretary and wonder where she is from with her heavy accent . I was thinking Ukraine or somewhere in eastern Europe . I waited my turn and tried to spot the doctors certificate , the sharpie line covering issue dates made me more skeptical . I did the eye exam check . I was then told by the Secretary / Nurse to go down to restroom and pee in the Dixie cup . I did but unlike the Drug Test lab there was no sealed container and person with gloves to take it . Just a really hairy underling . I swear I think he just dumped it and gave me OK checks in the test for whatever they were testing for . Now I get to meet the doctor . Long greasy gray hair and about 1 /4 the gold Mr T wore in the 80s . I knew the fix was in when he took my blood pressure because my dentist has been on my ass for months saying that my BP was pretty high yet when Dr Nick took it he said it was right on the line , and that I should cut out the salt . I later consulted with My college buddy Hossman aka Dr Z and he said that the salt thing is BS . Then it was time to drop my pants . I don't know what they check but I know its normal for Doc to reach under and say cough . This Doc didn't want to get any pubes in his pinky rings because he said cough from across the room . That was fine by me , then things get more awkward when the secretary walks in . No excuse me no sorry just normal as anything . Doc then starts telling me to stand on 1 leg and hold hands apart I laugh and say can I at least pull my pants up to which he replies oh yeah like he didn't know they were down . You pass he says I say great pay my 40 bucks and went home and took a rape shower .
The next step is to go to the Transit authority and take a general knowledge test of Vegas to make sure you are not a complete moron . I was told everyone fails the 1 st time and everyone was right . You can miss 10 out of 40 and I missed 11 . So know knowing what type of stuff I would need to know went home looked online for some answers to some of the questions . And went back the next morning for retest . The re test was a breeze I finished the 40 questions in around 4 minutes and IM sure some people thought I must have cheated . I missed 3 this time and 2 of them where locations of malls. So 3 test down and 1 more to go . The last test before getting an actual Nevada transit Authority license was sitting through a 8 hr class seminar followed by a test . And that is exactly what I will tell you about in my next post.....................................................................
So 1 st test passed now across town to get my physical . This particular doctor ( I cant believe I called him that! LOL ) was located North of the strip off of Sahara . In 3 years I have never been further van patten and Sahara . I dated a Filipino girl that lived over there in the hood . And its not safe if any off you have visited me in Vegas I have taken you to my favorite restaurant the world renowned Best Thai food in the US - Lotus of Siam , that's the part of town it is in . I refer to it as Trannie Town . You should be able to figure out what that means . So this place is further North than Lotus . So I head into this dodgy strip mall to this what was trying very hard to pass as a doctors office . I sign and and ogle the big breasted secretary and wonder where she is from with her heavy accent . I was thinking Ukraine or somewhere in eastern Europe . I waited my turn and tried to spot the doctors certificate , the sharpie line covering issue dates made me more skeptical . I did the eye exam check . I was then told by the Secretary / Nurse to go down to restroom and pee in the Dixie cup . I did but unlike the Drug Test lab there was no sealed container and person with gloves to take it . Just a really hairy underling . I swear I think he just dumped it and gave me OK checks in the test for whatever they were testing for . Now I get to meet the doctor . Long greasy gray hair and about 1 /4 the gold Mr T wore in the 80s . I knew the fix was in when he took my blood pressure because my dentist has been on my ass for months saying that my BP was pretty high yet when Dr Nick took it he said it was right on the line , and that I should cut out the salt . I later consulted with My college buddy Hossman aka Dr Z and he said that the salt thing is BS . Then it was time to drop my pants . I don't know what they check but I know its normal for Doc to reach under and say cough . This Doc didn't want to get any pubes in his pinky rings because he said cough from across the room . That was fine by me , then things get more awkward when the secretary walks in . No excuse me no sorry just normal as anything . Doc then starts telling me to stand on 1 leg and hold hands apart I laugh and say can I at least pull my pants up to which he replies oh yeah like he didn't know they were down . You pass he says I say great pay my 40 bucks and went home and took a rape shower .
The next step is to go to the Transit authority and take a general knowledge test of Vegas to make sure you are not a complete moron . I was told everyone fails the 1 st time and everyone was right . You can miss 10 out of 40 and I missed 11 . So know knowing what type of stuff I would need to know went home looked online for some answers to some of the questions . And went back the next morning for retest . The re test was a breeze I finished the 40 questions in around 4 minutes and IM sure some people thought I must have cheated . I missed 3 this time and 2 of them where locations of malls. So 3 test down and 1 more to go . The last test before getting an actual Nevada transit Authority license was sitting through a 8 hr class seminar followed by a test . And that is exactly what I will tell you about in my next post.....................................................................
posted by midnight driver at 6:40 PM
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